Would you change it?

It has been almost two years since my Mother and Sisters got out from the hell that we were living in.  Two years of freedom, two years of happiness.   Two years of growth.

At small group a few weeks ago, my friend said something that absolutely struck me, especially at this time of year-


"If you could change your past, would you?" 


Now the obvious answer is DUH!  However after thinking more closely, I came to the realization that my troubled childhood, the hell my family and I went through, all of this made me who I am today.  It shaped my relationships, it formed my personality, it taught me how to help others, it gave me the desire to be there for those in need.   I cannot imagine who I would be if I had a perfect stepford childhood.   In the past two years, I have watched my sisters grow so much in themselves.  They have found such a new confidence, they are wonderful young women.  My Mom is independent and driven, she pushes us and herself to go further in life.   I am independent and self sufficient.   Would I change this?  Honestly, my answer is no.

I would never wish what we have been through on anyone, but I have found new perspective for the past.   It shaped us.  It has caused us to grow, to learn to take care of ourselves and each other.  It has turned my mom and sisters into my best friends.  Would I change that?  Never.   Would I change the person I am?  The family I have?  The lessons I've learned?  No.


The past may be a dark, looming nightmare, but the biggest thing to remember is that it is something that  can be learned from.   And that is what makes a person, the ability to take the negative experiences and grow from them.

Proud sister

Despite being incredibly proud of  my baby sisters, this summer has reinforced that pride I have for them. 

Camille, my 17 year old amazing sister graduated from high school and in a months time turned into the most amazing young lady.   She has gotten accepted into an accelerated program at RCC, but she didn't place into the proper math class.  So what did she do?  She took a summer math class and worked her ass off.  She spend hours ever night on math math math.  I know, eww math. But she did it!  

Not only that, but this summer my sisters are forced to go to their father's house for almost a month's time.  For some people this would seem like no problem, but for anyone who know's Lloyd (No, we do not use his real name even around the house as he is not worthy of even a name), this is HELL for a month.   The man is unworthy of the air he breathes and a complete monster.   Camille, being graduated, legally no longer has to go to his house, however she refuses to let Calle and Gracie face him alone so she endures hell with Lloyd for them.   What am amazing big sister.   

Calle is such a young lady.  She had to go to summer school for Geometry and got one of the top grades in her class.  She is smart and lovely and doesn't subscribe to the drama that accompanies high school.  Not only that, when she took her permit test she got 100%!!!  Amazing.  Too bad that doesn't translate to her actual driving.  haha. 

Gracie is growing up so fast.   While we are in the throws of the "tween" age drama, she surprised me a  few months back.   She wanted to give one of her friends a kidney.   She selflessly wanted to undergo surgery to give one of her friends something she might have needed.  Thank God Hbear didn't need one and is absolutely healthy, but I'm still so proud of Gracie for that want to help someone who is so important to her.   

Calle, Gracie, Camille, Gram, Mom and Me.  <3 

Overall I have a lot to be proud of.   We have all been through so much in our lives, but in the last two years since being liberated from Lloyd, my sisters have grown into the most amazing young women.   Every time I look at them I cannot contain the love and pride I hold for them.  <3