What the kids are calling it... again.

Today I had yet another opportunity to say "that's what the kids are calling it these days?".  Good Lord so I feel old.  

For those of you who are out of the teen loop, here is a brief update on the lingo according to my teenage sisters... Brace yourselves.


1. GLOTI: Good look on the invite. (Thanks for the invite, Sarcastically)
    Used in a sentence:
    "We went to lunch today..." me
    "GLOTI! Geez!" Calle

2. Thot: a hoe.
According to Urban Dictionary: Originally standing for "that hore out there". (I suppose kids also cannot spell.)
   Used in a sentence: That girl is such a thot!"

3. Baump: You're wrong. 
   Used in a sentence: "mmmm baump!  Shut up!"

4. Bae: Before Anything Else (or a shortened form of Babe, because that extra 'b' really makes it too long)
   Used in a sentence: "He's my bae"

5. Simp: Can be a verb or a noun.  Basically meaning in touch with emotional side.
   Used in a sentence: "Let me simp to you / that guy is such a simp."

6. What's Gucci?: Another way of asking 'what's up?'
   Used in a sentence: "Hey bro!  What's Gucci?"

7. Fit: Outfit (because apparently saying the entire word is too time consuming)
   Used in a sentence: "I am feeling your fit today!"

8. TU: Turn up (Party)
   Used in a sentence: "This weekend we are gonna turn up!"

9. TD: Turn down, to be boring, stay home/stay in
   Used in a sentence: "Nah bro, I'm probably gonna TD tonight, it's been a long week."

10. TDFW: Turned down for what (why are you being boring?)
   Used in a sentence: "Bro, TDFW! You never come out!"


So this is what the kids are saying this days.  I feel so old and yet so glad to not be in that generation.  What every happened to words like Party, Staying in, and just the good old fashioned Ho?
    

Jail bird

Last night I was spending time with M and his family.  His two nieces (both 4) had a pair of fake handcuffs.  Being the adorable kiddos that they are they decided to "arrest  me".    After putting the handcuffs on way too tightly, I asked them what my crime was.

"You pretend hit a car."  

Oh, okay.  Well then to jail I go.   They banished me to the other side of the patio where they built a 'Jail' out of chairs and locked me in.   The prison guards showed mercy on me and fed me lolli pops while incarcerated. 

I asked them about bail, a concept they have not yet grasped.  They asked me what that was and I explained that bail is when someone gives you money to leave jail.  One of them was all on board to get 'monies' while the other, a more strict enforcer of the laws of imagination informed me that I was not leaving jail until she died.  

A life sentence for pretend hitting a car!   The laws of childhood are strict and swift.  No jury, no trial, but at least there are blow pops.  

Needless to say, I eventually plotted and executed my escape and they ran off to arrest uncle M instead. His sentence did not include lolli pops.  Obviously I was a better prisoner.