Dear Allergies...


Dear Allergies, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit want to scratch out my nose and eye balls like a howler monkey on bath salts. You're scum between my toes nostrils and eye lids! Love, Desiree.


Yea, I know this is an adaptation of the original letter... but this seemed a little more fitting today as I'm sitting on the couch, dying slowly unhappily blowing my nose and sneezing ever few minutes.  (The original can be seen above.  I must have watched this movie a MILLION times at my Gram's when I was growing up... on VHS.  Shout out to the good old days)

Anyone living through this allergy season feels my despair, my pain and my itchy freaking nose.  I mean honestly, I feel like a stray dog scratching at fleas, except these fleas are teeny tiny microscopic meanies who are out to ruin my life!  

"Oh Des, you're just being dramatic" you may say.  Well to you I say its all fun and games until someone scratches out their own eyes because they itch so badly and NOTHING works.  Just saying. Maybe those people in the news who were on bath salts were really not hallucinating, maybe they were suffering from allergies... I'm just saying. 



Is it so sad that I think this is AWESOME.  Don't Judge me! 




SIDE STORY:  While blogging this I was lying on the couch, all comfy, and decided I needed a sip of my coffee which was on the end table behind my head.  Being the Genius that I am, I reached, two handed, OVER my head to grab my coffee and attempt to balance the cup and pull it in front of me.  Well I tipped it the wrong way, spilling coffee all over myself, my BRAND NEW macbook and the couch.  Now I am sticky and anyone who knows me knows that I HATE BEING STICKY.  On the bright side, my cousin and I opted to buy keyboard protectors and those came in handy!  Best $5 ever spend on Amazon.




No comments:

Post a Comment

I'm judging you because...

BLOG DESIGN BY DESIGNER BLOGS