If my Mother and I were drug dealers...

In preparation for Christmas, Hurricane Mom rolled through my house this weekend full of energy and crazy... This is one of the ensuing conversations:


Mom: I got you something you'll love for Christmas... I searched high and low for it...

Me: Is it drugs?

Mom (and mind you she doesn't skip a beat): Its a sample pack, a little of everything...

Me: Oh, like those Whitman's Chocolate Samplers?

Mom: Yeah, I mean you never know, each person is different so a sample pack makes sense... so you can adequately figure out what works best for your own body.

Me: Dude, that makes sense... Why don't drug dealers do that?  It would bring in SO MUCH MORE business!

Mom: Exactly!  I think we found our next career path!


So there you have it... And people wonder why I'm nuts... I got it from my mama.

Yep, totally got it from her.. 

Would you change it?

It has been almost two years since my Mother and Sisters got out from the hell that we were living in.  Two years of freedom, two years of happiness.   Two years of growth.

At small group a few weeks ago, my friend said something that absolutely struck me, especially at this time of year-


"If you could change your past, would you?" 


Now the obvious answer is DUH!  However after thinking more closely, I came to the realization that my troubled childhood, the hell my family and I went through, all of this made me who I am today.  It shaped my relationships, it formed my personality, it taught me how to help others, it gave me the desire to be there for those in need.   I cannot imagine who I would be if I had a perfect stepford childhood.   In the past two years, I have watched my sisters grow so much in themselves.  They have found such a new confidence, they are wonderful young women.  My Mom is independent and driven, she pushes us and herself to go further in life.   I am independent and self sufficient.   Would I change this?  Honestly, my answer is no.

I would never wish what we have been through on anyone, but I have found new perspective for the past.   It shaped us.  It has caused us to grow, to learn to take care of ourselves and each other.  It has turned my mom and sisters into my best friends.  Would I change that?  Never.   Would I change the person I am?  The family I have?  The lessons I've learned?  No.


The past may be a dark, looming nightmare, but the biggest thing to remember is that it is something that  can be learned from.   And that is what makes a person, the ability to take the negative experiences and grow from them.

stuff my sisters say...

So some days I worry about my families sanity.  These kids are eight kinds of crazy.  So tonight at Casa de la Awesome (awww hell yeahh) things took a turn for the WTF.

"you know that Ankle shit..." The girls were showing us their secret handshake.   Camille screams "Ankle Shit" then proceeds to kick Calle in the shins.  Calle was apparently supposed to jump and "high five" ankles with Cam.  Didn't work that well.

"By the way, that cup was dirty... it had little floaties in it.... I just drank around them" Camille yells that after she just guzzled all the juice out of it.  Okay that makes sense right?

"This hamburger is giving me a heart attack.... my life is flashing before my eyes"  Calle, as she stuffs burger back into her face.

"She has a box of herself."- About Camille's box of pictures

Yeah, that's supposed to be a self portrait of Camille.

"I remember him!!!!" - D.... "It was me... a girl"  Me looking at this picture of camille's art project in Kindergarden.  Ooops.

Camille and Calle

"Aye!  Look at this sexy mofo!" Calle about Camille in a kid swim suit.


"Let me see... is she eating cereal"  "yeah"  Apparently all I ever do is eat cereal and there are a ton of pictures of me as a kid eating cereal.

Eating Cereal... Typical 

To Catch A Peeper

One morning back in December, Mom felt someone looking at her, so she looks over to a crack in the blinds and a man is staring in the window.  Now if you know anything about my family you know that we really don't believe in pants... or clothes, and it being morning the girls were getting ready for school thus in a higher state of undress than normal.   Which is a lot I know.  So my mom chases him down but by the time she gets outside he is gone.   Cops are called, long story short, we figure that he won't return because he's been seen.  Peepers generally peep until they get caught right?  WRONG!

So that night the peeper returned!  The girl's friend Ash chases him down and gets a good look.  Cops are called and what happens... It's only a misdemeanor to peep in someone's window.  We can't ID him yet because we didn't see where he went to catch and ID him.   So then we assumed that he wouldn't come back because he was chased twice and  saw the cops twice.  Who takes that many risks right?  WRONG!

So about six weeks pass, and he comes back and is again peeking in a crack in the window.  The gardener saw him and chased him into his apartment!  Cops are called and his baby mama gives him a lame alibi.   So we bring in Ash to ID him.   Thus getting Mom and Girls an EPO (emergency protective order) which basically says that if he comes anywhere near us then he gets arrested.   The only issue with this is that the EPO is only good for five days.  Thus the need for a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order).

Fast forward to court to turn the TRO into a permanent restraining order. Court was a blast.  Essentially the kid who was peeping is a total idiot.  And the judge was great and knew he was completly uneducated and stupid and granted the RO.

So thus the complex my Mom lives in (which is actually a really nice place, just had one bad apple) now has the legal right to evict this kid (he's only 23 and is already started on his life of crime).  Thus he is getting evicted so my mom's place can get it's crime free rating back and get rid of the bad apple that is souring the bunch!

Moral of this story, we took him down.  My mom stood up for her right to not live like a prisoner cooped up in her house with all the windows tightly shut.   Never mess with the Army of Skanks!