Engineer Brain Love Loyalty Programs

So I get home from work and Ryan and I are chatting, here is what I learned:  Engineers are all about the math.  

Example:

Ryan: "So I didn't finish my story.... So I was at Hooters. " 

Me: "I love when a story starts this way... 'So I was at Hooters....'"

Ryan: "Well I mean it's tuesday.... we have the membership card... "

Me: *laughs hysterically* 

Ryan: "well you know.. it is a punch card... and tuesdays are two for one punches...." 

Me: "And you're punching what now... cards.... " 

Ryan:  " Well it makes sense logically... If you get X amount of punches you get $8 off your meal so logically you want to get more punches.... "

Of course.  This whole story is coming from an engineer so it ACTUALLY does make sense logically.  The point of the story in the end.... He burned his mouth on hot wings.  What I took from it:  Engineers would look at Hooters as a math problem.  

PS: Did you know Hooter's now has a loyalty program?!?

Angry Little Breed

So I was looking through the notes on my phone and discovered this little gem from when Ryan was here:

"I'm gonna throw rocks at all the windows.  Like an angry leprechaun!!" -Ryan

"Since when are leprechaun's angry?"- Me

"Google it! Wikipedia it! They are an angry little breed!"- Ryan

Sometimes I really think I need to just record this stuff as it happens, at least then I'd remember what the context was because as of now, all I can remember is that we were sitting on the couch, obviously talking about being vindictive towards someone's windows.  

What windows?  I do not know. What were we mad about?  Your guess is as good as mine.  Are leprechauns inherently perturbed?  According to Ryan, Yes, yes they are. 

*Update: Ryan has informed me that we were discussing the malicious breaking of all the crappy windows we have in our apt because they are single pane glass and let all the noise and the cold air in...

He has also stated that it is my fault we can no longer do this because I put it onto the internets and we now are no longer anonymous.  Way to give up so easily RYAN! *

Another reason they are angry apparently. 

My new planted named Eduardo tried to kill me...

So today, the BF had a 10% off at Lowe's coupon, and needed a BBQ for his weekend with the boys, so we went to get him a BBQ.  We found one that suits him just fine, but me, being well... me, had to get something too.  What did I fancy so much I just had to have it you might ask?

A plant.  Yes, me with no green thumb what so ever needed a plant.  After scouring the store for the perfect plant, I found one, that is hard to kill made for me.

All is well and I'm ecstatic with Eduardo the plant (Yes, that's his name... he told me!) except that the pant won't fit very well in the car because it is really tallish.  So somehow I wrangle this plant into the front seat with me, a front seat that is pushed WAYYY too far forward I might add because of that damn BBQ, and all seems well.

Before I almost died... all seems well... Innocent BBQ and Plant... Plotting away... 

Let me start part two of this story by mentioning that I wore a dress today...

So we did not even get to the end of the parking lot when I look down and see a spider crawling on my hem... that then decides to bee line (Spider line?) for my.... Crotch!   Yes, that's right.  Spider headed toward my nether parts!!

Me, being the completely rational person I am, start flipping the hell out, screaming and trying to swat the spider/my crotch because how devastating would it be to say you got a cooter spider bite?  I mean really.  WOW.

While this is all happening, the BF is all "ummm.. what do you want me to do?".... Pull over idiot and help me because frankly half the parking lot has now seen my ugly undies, why oh why did it have to be an ugly undie kind of day anyways?   He then goes "Well did you kill it?".... Ummm what do you think DEAR, while I am still swatting away??

Finally I managed to kill the spider; crisis averted, so we could continue our adventure.  But seriously... I could have died... or been really embarrassed having to explain to people that my crotch was swollen because my plant named Eduardo tried to kill me by launching spiders at me.

Me with the offending plant... 

Text messages with the Man.

So, sometimes I wonder what others would think if they knew even a little bit of what the BF and I talk about.  This is just a sample of some regular conversations.  This is why he's so perfect.  

This is reference to the ridiculous amount of stuff he has.  Who needs 43253432 couch blankets?  WHO?  Hoarders, that's who.  Blanket hoarders!  It's a new epidemic.  You just watch.  There will be a show about men who hoard couch blankets and their loving, beautiful girlfriends who were attacked maliciously by said blankets.  Reality TV.  When Blankets Attack!  

So no, I did not see the president at Taco Bell.  But you never know, and the one day I see him there I'm sure my hair will be all a mess and I will have been too lazy to put on makeup, I mean most days people are lucky I even put on pants, so no makeup is not that far a stretch.  And that one  day President Obama, or the Pope maybe, will be at Taco Bell (or any other fast food place where this fattie eats) and I will be able to tell the bf "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!" and I will take a photo with the Presidential, Pope, Queen of England and I will look like a hood rat but it will be framed forever!  Just for spite!  Or I'll make a life size cut out.   Even better!  

Side note: I just spend an hour trying to figure out how to put my face next to Obama but all the apps I found were TOO cheesy! (yes, there is such a thing!).