Neglected Blog, Neglected Shower

Dear Blog,

I have been a poor blog lover.  I have neglected you in the whirlwind what is applying for law school, working my ass off, and dealing with some massive drama. So to say I'm sorry, I will post a story from a while ago about the time I almost freaking died at the fanged indecency that is a possibly lesbian black widow....

So I was getting ready to get into the shower, (I know right, every good story has some nudity?), and I, being the typical american in this horror story, am 1. home alone, 2. naked, 3. sitting on the toilet while waiting for the shower to get steamy and taking a quick urination break.

As I'm sitting there in my steamy sauna of a bathroom, I had the feeling I was being watched... Cue Psycho horror music.... I look down and a very large  FREAKING GIANT black widow is crawling at my poor naked self!  Its a scene from every bad horror movie and Arachnophobia combined!   Me, being the perfectly level headed person that I am, completely lost it, ran out of my bathroom screaming bloody murder!

I had the sense in this to find a cup from the kitchen and trap the little peeping tom (peeping Jane?) of a spider until Gram could come home and deal with it, but not the sense to turn off the shower... or put on clothes, because honestly people, I am only human and at least I trapped that spider like a rat!!!  (Cue Al Capone:I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna PISS ON HIS ASHES! )

So I sit having a damn panic attack calmly on the couch, in a towel, shower still running and do what any sensible person would do: I waited for gram to come home and kill it.  She was not happy about me wasting water.  I could have died and she was mad about water!  Such is life I suppose. 

In finding this photo I typed "Spider funny" and almost had a panic attack at all the spider photos that popped up.  You're welcome. 



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