All Aboard the Moon Train

Today I learned that a man has actually "claimed" the moon and thinks he owns it.  (he's making tons of money off this, by the way.)

Through this site, you can actually buy property on the moon in acre parcels.  In FACT, you can also buy acres on Mars, Venus... and some others.   For the low low price of $29.99 plus lunar tax!

So this has presented a few questions between Lisa, Ryan and I:




1. Who decides what the Lunar Tax is?
      And further, what is the basis of the tax?  Who sets it, and what is it based of off?   And why are we paying this man for property in U.S. Dollars?  Why not use Moon Dollars?  (which are called Deltas.... Just FYI.)

2. Can we get our moon property insured?



3. What is the cost of homeowners insurance on said moon property? And moreover, do you have to change the name to "moon owners insurance"?

    Also, what is the cost of moving?  Does U-haul offer  a moon package? Is there a POD you can take with all your stuff?

4. Is there a fashionable way to dress for the moon?  I mean the astronauts have some clunky ensembles.  Do we need to get a runway show going?

"If you put a gold chain on your astronaut suit it means you're from the jersey shore..."- Lisa
"I want an all black astronaut suit... I want to be murdered out so you can't see me! Like a Lunar Ninja."- Ryan
"I want my suit to have flip flops painted not them since I'm from CALI"- Lisa. 
"You might have a future in this... Pimp out peoples astronaut suits."-Ryan 


5. Let's discuss the LUNAR MAN BATS.  Do we need to get insurance against them?  Do we have any guarantees that we they will not be fornicating in our front yard?




6. What is the protocol for using the bathroom?  I mean really, this is important to know because ... well everyone poops.... and what happens when you have to go and "read a good book" up in space? It's a valid question!

"18 is in the bad place... where the rocks turn into spiders and eat you.... you thought we had a pest problem nows!" - Ryan   
   I have NO IDEA what he is talking about.  (side note: Ryan says there is some movie I'm supposed to be referencing because he "doesn't want to seem crazy" and that he hates me for doing this to him. #TrueLove)


7. Can we get summer vacation homes on mars?  Will people say "I'm summering on Venus this year"? like it's the Martha's Vineyard of space?

    Can we put the prisons on Uranus?   I mean I hear it's an "Abandoned Shit-Hole"- Ryan


8.  Let's talk about the Galactic Government....

     There is FLAG.  A FLAG.


     They have 6 quadrillion dollars... and asked Obama if they could bail the US out.

     The "capitol" building will be a four sided pyramid.  yeah.  They're also going to give embassies on the moon to the "non earth governments"  glad they're all inclusive.



9.  What I really need to know is what is the healthcare system on the moon?  Are we doing a "Moon-bama-care?" Or is it every man for himself?  Do people get sick?


10.  WHEN can we go!?



This post of hilarity is brought to you by:

Lunarcy!
The Lunar Embassy
Champagne!

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